Daily Moon Phases

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

The High Priestess And Wholeness.

The High Priestess Card In The Tarot

I have two very interesting books (PDF's) before me. These I will take together as a discussion in this new blog post. It will be a while reading them. The comments and ideas will probably be coming for a time, so come back often for updates to the post, as we move along.

These two books are:

The Vampire Codex by Michelle Belanger

Psychic Self-Defense by Dion Fortune

Let me start off with: Michael Tsarion is a genius! And I'm going to start this post with something he said, before I go into the two books because it has to do with what's going on in these books, as in everything else in life as well.  In this High Priestess (Path of the Fool Series) video, he says:

*This is The High Priestess starting out, with a waxing moon.
  And now we are at the end, the waning moon.*

(the excerpt starts at 1:30:25 of/ 1:47:36 in the video)

     "Behind the great action of life, and you can think of that as human action, or you can think of it as the creation itself, the buzzing of the atoms, the after affects of the big bang, whatever way you want to think about it. Our world is buzzing like some LSD trip, but somewhere in the middle of all of that is that "Still" point, somewhere behind it is that noumenal, prerational, inexpressible, undefinable...Stillness.
     And as a matter of fact, that noumenal state, again, I'm sort of saying it the Kantian way, that unnoble something-something behind the appearances and their representations, has actually, is actually spoken of in theromatic tradition. Jacob Bohme, the German mystic spoke of it. He was speaking of it in a sort of Theosophical way, in which he was speaking about; in order for the creation to come into being, God, whatever God is, retracted himself...closed in on himself...and therefore left a sort of space, for the other to be born. Right? For Creation to be born there's actually a sucking of God's energy into himself...to make a space, a living creative space for the creation to come about.
     In other words, to create that creative emptiness, that is so lacking in everybody's life. And the message that you get out of reading Bohme, and other mystics of this kind is that, look, unless WE do the same thing... maybe, you know, spiritual advancement is an illusion. Because if you look around at the world, at all its accumulation, the "I must have" and all of that, and, "god please gimme what i need," and all of this other aggressive acquisitive stuff, you know? maybe that's the wrong concept all together.
     And maybe there's this whole other kind of creative emptiness that this card (the High Priestess) is encapsulating. Along the same lines, just understand that the word holy, holiness, is synonymous with WHOLEness, right? The holy person is the WHOLE person. Complete.
     Well, you can't be whole if you're seeing life in a fragmented biased manner. Or you're trying to live in some one-seasoned world like 99.9% of the new age people in the new age movement are, can you? Or as we said earlier, if you're negating the past and only living for the now or the future. And you can't be too "in" the future either, you know? You can't be too lost in the past, and you can't be too lost in the future. Where's that wholeness, where's that equanimity? You can't run around in a one-seasoned world just editing reality just because you don't like what you see. Then what you're doing is, you have an idea of reality, you're not actually seeing reality one to one, sheer, as for what it is, so that that reality can then teach you what it needs to teach you. That's why you're here on this planet, that's why you've incarnated here.....where instead, it is you've been editing, because, 'oh I don't like that part, and I don't want to deal with that. Well what's wholesome about that? What's holistic about that?
     You know, you are meant to study the lessons of the past. I mean, I shouldn't even have to explain that. You should be able to look at the darker aspects of existence. Explain to me why you shouldn't do that? You're not meant to edit and avoid reality. Those losses and pains need to be faced. They're etched into our being whether we recognize it or not. Especially, as we said, you don't want to become obsessed by it, but they're our fore bearers sacrificed. And we have had to go through periods of great difficulty, and those are part of yourself. You know, you should bleed for the sacrifices of the Great Ones of the past. You should collect a few laurel leaves for those people, you know? you should bleed for the injustices. You must be moved by something, otherwise you know, you're just a mollusk (a slimy creature that lives in a shell).
     And, if you want to live in a one-seasoned world, (like only summertime, no winter spring or autumn...or like only cinnamon and no cayenne, salt or sage), because you don't want to listen to what somebody like me is saying, then my message to you is: continue to do it. And I'm not stopping you. Because it is by doing it that you are going to understand that it's wrong.
     Look around you at the world today. It's either, "to be inebriated or anaesthetized." The record-levels of substance abuse, both pharmaceutical or illicit drugs...does that look like a healthy thing? There's always this concept going around in the new age movement, 'oh you know you can't be around negative people because you won't be able to progress,' you know, this is meant to be a message to spiritually aware people and people who want to be more positive and so on. But the fact of the matter is, look, negative people won't want to be around you, if you truly are spiritually advanced, because they just couldn't take your light. So there's no need to worry about it.
      If you're truly high, if you're truly on your path, you'll find that you won't be around negative people because they'll run a mile from you. But if then there are negative people around you, it's because you still need to learn something. (That makes the whole world round huh? hahaha Start Learnin!) And so for example if you're saying "well I don't wanna be around negative people," it's a completely  ludicrous statement! And one can also add that, in this fanatical modern law of attraction cult --you know, they give rise to books and programs like "the Secret," this "Think and Grow Rich"... JIVE is all you can say, this Oprah Winfrey "smile and everything is going to be o.k." crowd-- That in itself is also based on total nonsense!
      And the way to explain it is this: that you may create the fa├žade, you may adopt a conscious mind-set of positivity because you are thinking that if I do that, my world is going to be better for me, I'm going to have more happiness and all sorts of good things are going to happen. But unfortunately that's a fallacy. All you've done is made yourself believe that that is the case. It's a form of auto-hypnotization. You've auto-hypnotized yourself. And we're knee-deep in auto-hypnotized, right now, as we speak. (I think I know what that spiders knee means now!). And it has no bearing on actual reality. But you have just convinced yourself that if you stay in this one mode, one --cage yourself in one mode-- give it a nice, you know, shiny plaque-art on the front, you know, polish the door and say "it's all about positivity"... but what you've done is nailed yourself in, to a very limited version, very limited mode of thinking, and then think that life itself is going to, in some way, facilitate you? That's utter nonsense.
     The kind of life you experience whether it's good or bad, is not based on some conscious superficial external socially vetted, socially approved changes that you've adopted because you've read a book or a magazine or some self-help spin-a-rack book. The life you live comes into being based on your true inner identity. Below the conscious hemisphere. Your fate is articulated to that. Not to any superficial contrivances -you try this and you try that-. Your Base Nature, the thing that most people don't want to face, the BASE Nature, the one you really-really are under all of that, cosmetic stuff? THAT is where the articulation to fate is, that's the world that you're going to get.
     Simply put: If you're a deep down good person, you're going to avoid all that spin-a-rack shit because your life is going to be good, on a very profound and deep level. But if you're sick, toxic and rotten as hell, then no matter how many "Secret" books and self-help books that you read, and how much you auto-hypnotize yourself in to believe that, "I'm really going to get that parking space" or whatever, "I'm going to become a multi-millionaire" or something. Even if you've managed to will yourself to get those things, that's still not going to be a good life. You're still going to be completely nothing more than an auto-hypnotized mannequin. There's not enough time to go in to explore all of this..  But just remember that, it is your core underlying true authentic character that makes your fate, and no amount of marzipan on the surface changes that.
      The danger is that now that we are moving into a world where this auto-hypnotism of one form or another is taking place, right? Unfortunately, one form of auto-hypnosis leads to other modes, so it just spirals out of control, and thanks to the media, this is exactly what's happening, it's kind of the order of the day. I'm not dissing, that you should not think positively, I'm just saying that if you decide that you want to be positive about things, by all means do so. But, don't expect a reward. Do it because you want to do it, for it self. Without any concept of that tomorrow you're going to own a fleet of yachts or a fleet of Mercedes. Just cut that crap out. You don't get those things by a superficial change in the settings, at all. It's pure hardcore underlying character, that fate, shall we say, responds to. Ok?
      That will never be told to you by these plastic t.v. gurus, who definitely want you to try on this and that mask and to auto-hypnotize yourself into believing that you'll have a better life while remaining an inauthentic person. This is absolutely catastrophe for the human race, disaster, when we buy into that stuff.
      One of the other things about this card is that, it's a loss of what it means to be normal, as we progress in time. Even a drug addict can be cured because you bring them back to a semblance of normality, after all the cold turkey and whatever the experiences they have to go through, at least there's a certain known mode of normality that they can return to. But, in the world that we're living in today, especially, and you could see this in the sort of gender dysphoria that's rampant now, is where, even, are we losing that standard of normality? Is that being completely washed away? It's so thread-bare, it's so faded that we can't even... and what are the consequences of that? If we have lost the root of what it means to be a human being? Or, let's just say, we know what it means to be human, the flesh and blood, but we've lost the essence of being.
      And concretely, what this state that's represented by this card represents, is that there is no real great creativity without suffering, so all of these different modes and different modern.. all this modern jive, which is trying to force us into that cage of one vision of life, a very narrow infantile vision, is an attempt to take away our experiences of suffering.
      But the axiomatic fact is there is no great creativity without that human legitimate anxiety, what Freud called "ordinary human misery." Don't believe me? Well, as I've said, just keep on going the way we're going. Without that suffering, there's no Beethoven, there's no Sirvanti's, there's no Dostoyevsky, there's no Shakespeare. Maybe you're ok in a world living without that, but I'm not. And if a certain amount of normal human misery and the acceptance of it, the working with those emotions, letting them be part of your life, if that's what it means then we have to be okay with that. What we need to do then is develop a new healthy relationship with those darker emotions, rather than repressing them or trying to auto-hypnotize them out of existence, try to edit? and live in that one-season world?
      (You have to dig deep and pull out that rich black soil that's inside and examine it to see what exactly you're planting things in. You get to know the ground you're on, in, a part of, instead of fearfully avoiding it and hoping those seeds you threw on top of the ground will find a hole somewhere to fall into and grow. Hahaha! Like a teenager at his first trying to insert something, with no luck at all, hahahaha! You have to be a professional about it. Get to know it, and it will deliver.)
      Maybe we need to have a completely different relationship with those other aspects of our self. Let them gather around us like children and let's hear their accounts, let's hear what they're saying, what kind of wisdom they've got to impart. Otherwise, we turn ourselves into hypocrites. Paper thin. Stark naked. Hypocrites, ready to enter the global village, as I said, humans yea, no being involved. And that sense of holiness, that sense of wholeness, but maybe also intoned with that fallowness, right? that creative space, that's what is really meant by that term Nirvana, actually. It's a wholeness internally, and it's a wholeness externally."


In Dion Fortune's book on page 3, she says:

     Mrs. Eddy, the founder of Christian Science, stumbled on to these methods empirically without ever acquiring any rational knowledge as to their modus operandi. She endeavoured to teach them in such a way that they could only be used for good and their power for evil should be concealed; but that she herself was well aware of their possibilities if abused is witnessed by the dread of what she called "Malicious Animal Magnetism," which shadowed her whole life.
     The methods of Christian Science, without its strict discipline and careful organisation, were developed and exploited by the innumerable schools and sects of the New Thought Movement. In many of the developments the religious aspect was lost sight of, and they simply became a method of mental manipulation for purely personal ends, though not necessarily deliberately evil. Their exponents advertised that they would teach the art of salesmanship, of making oneself popular and dominant in society, of attracting the opposite sex, of drawing to oneself money and success. The
amazing number of these courses advertised shows their popularity; in a recent issue of an American magazine I counted advertisements for sixty-three different courses in various forms of mind-power. They would not be so popular if they achieved no results at all. Let us consider some of these advertisements and see what they indicate, reading between the lines and drawing our own conclusions.
"Transfer your thoughts to others. Send for free folder, Telepathy, or Mental Radio."
"Troubled - health, love, money? Let me help you. No failures, instructions being followed. Strictly personal and professional. Careful as family physician. Five dollars must accompany enquiry. Money back if not satisfied."
"What do you want? Whatever it is, we can help you to get it. Just give us the chance by writing for 'Clouds Dispelled.' Absolutely free. You will be delighted."

    The strange thing haha, is that when I went to go look up the word, "Malicious Animal Magnetism," I found this site where a guy is selling a course on how to harm and do evil to others so 'you can get something out of it for yourself.' It's hilarious. This is today. Dion Fortune was born in 1890 and passed away in 1946. And yet this thing is going on just exactly the same as it ever was since then. The site is called Malicious Animal Magnetism, Key to the Scriptures. The guy calls himself 'Father.' And in it there are the categories of: Home, A Divine Discovery, Become a MAM Student, FAQ, and Store. The entire site is meant to advertise to wrongfully make money off others.

You want to talk about advertisements? Let's take a look at the book by Michelle Belanger. If that book is not an outright advertisement then I don't know what it is. The Vampire Codex. Hm, wouldn't that be tempting to someone who's looking for 'fitting in' with the so-called 'in crowd'? You know how popular Ann Rice has made Vampires. I mean, it doesn't take much, a glam-slamVampire musician in a kids mind, is quite a lot of fantasy work right there, until they just don't see reality anymore, and mistake what they think in their fanstasy, for reality. And how do you know the book is not a scam as well? Maybe a quick way to find some, food? Ignorant people make food for vampires, like that guy's site advertising to the ignorant to learn MAM, how to harm others.

See? What you have to keep in mind is, some beings are only in it for themselves, and they don't care how you feel about it, so if you get hurt, they can't feel your pain, otherwise they wouldn't have done it. So their consciousness is a low consciousness. They may be aware of certain things, but the ceiling hits them in the head and they stay below, where they have their play ground, and yours, which is the learning ground. So we're all in the same sphere of activity, this very place, every day, every moment.
Like for example, the Nephilim or Anunnaki, those blood hungry buzzards who are always flying around, they're constantly looking for ignorant easy prey. I mean, look how many wars there have been. Easy huh. That's why you have to be aware, and get knowledge. They're smooth talkers too, u know? Really sharp with the silver tongue. But they're not there to entertain or teach you. They're only there for one thing. To satisfy their own selfish wants...at your expense. Be cautious, on guard, care full about everything. That's how you learn discernment. And discernment is a very, very precious tool!

In her book Michelle Belanger says:

     "Long ago we strove to sunder the life of our body from our roving minds, for it grounded us. It held us back. It bound us to a single span of days. Through a ritual of death and rebirth, we severed our living ties and gained immortality.
Now we are freed of the life of the body, but we are irrevocably tied to the life we cut away. It sustains us and empowers us.
We thirst for life and we feed upon it."

If they had gained immortality they wouldn't be here feeding off the life force of others. As it is said, if you're too eager (too greedy) for immortality (or anything really), and you jump the gun, you're not going to get it. So they've self-deceived themselves into thinking they are immortal. Self-deception. Like Michael Tsarion says, auto-hypnotizm. Like Gurdjieff told in the story of the Evil Magician.

-G.I. Gurdjieff, "In Search of the Miraculous" by P.D. Ouspensky.

 "There is an Eastern tale which speaks about a very rich magician who had
 a great many sheep. But at the same time this magician was very mean. He
 did not want to hire shepherds, nor did he want to erect a fence about the
 pasture where his sheep were grazing. The sheep consequently often
 wandered into the forest, fell into ravines, and so on, and above all they
 ran away, for they knew that the magician wanted their flesh and skins and
 this they did not like.

 At last the magician found a remedy. He hypnotized his sheep and
 suggested to them first of all that they were immortal and that no harm
 was being done to them when they were skinned, that, on the contrary, it
 would be very good for them and even pleasant; secondly he suggested that
 the magician was a good master who loved his flock so much that he was
 ready to do anything in the world for them; and in the third place he
 suggested to them that when anything at all were going to happen to them
 it was not going to happen just then, at any rate not that day, and therefore
 they had no need to think about it. Further the magician suggested to his
 sheep that they were not sheep at all; to some of them he suggested that
 they were lions, to others that they were eagles, to others that they were
 men, and to others that they were magicians.

 And after this all his cares and worries about the sheep came to an end.
 They never ran away again but quietly awaited the time when the
 magician would require their flesh and skins. This tale is a very good
 illustration of man's position."

Of course there are positive things to these words Michelle Belanger writes. If we can fathom this ourselves, without going headlong into the negative worlds of blood sucking attitudes, then we can learn from them, as well.

On page 3 she says: "Our rules are our own. We accept no others. We define who we are and what we shall become. There is nothing in our lives which we cannot control if we but choose to."

That's the way humanity can become sovereign. By knowing ones own self, one is capable of making their own rules instead of living like a slave under others' rules. And when a person applies them-self to a task, to developing a certain ability within them-self, then there is nothing which they cannot do, if they but choose to. But they have to choose to do this, and then study it and make an art of it. Developing a musical talent is the same thing. It takes study. It takes study of your own self to develop your precious potentialities.

There are plenty passages in this book that I find very positive. But you have to read it objectively to find them. There is learning to be had from this writing, but you've just got to want to learn first.

Like this for example:

"Yet every birth is accompanied by struggle and pain. Every rebirth is just as painful.
It may seem that we bring destruction, chaos, and turmoil to all those around us. And in a sense we do. But the changes are always for the better, even though the initial change may seem terrible. Change is terrible. It tears away what we've grown comfortable with. It destroys what we find familiar, stable, and simple, leaving uncertainty in its wake. But to face uncertainty and to thrive is to become stronger. Everything must change or die. We are active participants in this universal mystery."

 I want to show you something. It's in-deep reading. In depth. It's when you look at the words beyond what the surface story is telling, out of another point, and look at it through your point, as well.

Her writing is really artistic, and quite beautiful. Let's read this next paragraph:

"Every person that we come into contact with, no matter how casually, is altered. Wherever we go, change will follow. Our dynamic spirits stretch out all around us, and the wake we leave in our passing is like ripples on the ocean. Only the ripples we cause can become tidal waves.
As beings on a threshhold state, we are living embodiments of the dynamic complimentarity that keeps the universe in constant motion. This is our burden. Yet this also is our purpose. In the gray area between two polar opposites lies revelation. We feed upon all around us. Yet we can also harness that energy to heal. We tear away and bring destruction, yet we also nurture new growth."

Now, let's look deep. Examine in depth. Where ever you go, whatever you do...isn't "every person that you come into contact with, no matter how casually, altered"? Yes! The flow of life. Everyone affects everyone and everything else. No doubt about that! And therefore, where ever you go, change will follow. Change is ever on-going. It is ever present. So what ever you are doing one moment, it will have paved the way to the next moment. And your dynamic spirits stretch out all around you, great big halos of ethers of energy surrounding you...big and beautiful aura's, and in your wake you leave, well it is like ripples passing over the ocean, it stretches out to infinity, everyone is affected. That tidal wave, you!

As beings on a threshold state, beings in a physical world but from a glorious spiritual height combined to become living embodiments of the dynamic! A complimenarity that keeps the universe in constant motion. This is your burden. This is your work. Your purpose, your life. Being! And here you are in the gray area, between earth and heaven, the polar opposites, wherein you will find the revelation, the answer to your existence and you. You feed upon all that is around you. You soak up like a sponge all the energies through your eyes, ears, sense of smell, taste, touch, feelings... and you can harness that energy to heal, yourself, and assist others to find healing too. You tear away those things which enslave you, to that you bring destruction, and yet in the same moment, as you do that, you are bringing new life, health nurturing growth.

So do you see how you can find a new way to read?

Ok, I'm going to give you a task, it's your lesson in how to do that kind of reading, in depth style. Here's her next passage. You put it together in your being.

"This is our nature, the mystery of who we are.
There is no rebirth without destruction. Light only blinds without shadow to throw it into relief. Understanding comes from balancing all these things within the Self. We are that Balance. We affect it, and it affects us. We are facilitators of the universal flow. We must accept this, and never fear to move with that flow."

Therefore, now let's read the next excerpt by her, and understand a deeper meaning, a meaning that hits home run for us. (pg. 4)

"Awakening is a process of expanded awareness. Anyone with gifts and talents of a subtle nature undergoes an awakening in their life. This is when they come into their own, finally accepting what has been latent within them since birth. For us, the process can be traumatic, as the existence we awaken to opens us up to a host of strange thoughts, sensations, and experiences which lie outside the limits accepted even by other Awakened.

Awakening is the alchemical forge in which we are transformed from dross to spiritual gold. It is the recalling of a part of our Selves that has become clouded over time. It is becoming more than the little self of this lifetime, grasping the totality of who we were and who we are to be -- our Essential Self.

Some of us have greater potential than others. Some are born with an instinctive understanding of their potential and they may gradually come to realize that potential on their own. They recall without prompting and their power is great."

Therefore, the whole point of this story is to understand how to read into what is being said by the Spirit, as well as the person who is saying their own words from their own mouth, typewriter or pen.
When you listen to your own self, carefully, then you'll be able to hear the spirit, as well as the personality. There you must also learn discernment. When you have gone deep into the understanding of that way of doing it, then you can allow the spirit to come through for long and longer periods, and then you can also see when your mammon self comes through. And you can compare the differences. That's how you can learn to listen to your Spirit, and rely on it, because it always steers you in the right direction, whereas your donkey, or mammon self, hahaha, doesn't know where to go, really! But I didn't mean to call your little self a mule. Even though it is stubborn. What I meant is for you to see the differences your self, in your self.

Here on page 8 of same book:

"The radiation of the sun is an overwhelming form of energy which our systems have trouble assimilating. Many of us burn very easily in the sun. Almost all of us are made sick by it."

"The light saps us of our strength, leaving us exhausted and drained."

Sort of like the way you drain others of their strength leaving them exhausted and drained?

In that book "The Black Sun" is a strange picture on page 15 of the PDF. The title under it says: King Sol on his throne. Fifteenth century. From Stanislas Klossowski de Rola, Alchemy: The Secret Art, p. 67

In the picture, up top'v it are a bull and the scales...two Venus signs, both of which are in a circle frame. Below is a rampant lion, the Sun, as well in a circle frame.  And then there's a rampant lion under his behind in the shape of an oval or upside down tear drop. So you've got two Suns and two Venuses. Interesting.
What's today? 4, 15, 2015. Hm.

Geez louiez I gotta go turn the heat down, it's warm out there, I don't need so much heat in here. And get some freshly ground organic black coffee that I just made. Hahahahaa.....

Oh and, here's the picture:

Maybe there should be a world war 3. What the fuck huh? What's the use holding the levy together? Everything is fucking shit here anyway all the time. There is no fucking sense to all this god damned struggling, constantly. The struggle of the hypnotized magicians! How the FUCK is anyone going to function properly under hypnosis? I think Fucking Tsarion's 1 through 4 plan idea, was aKtually a brilliant idea. Ofcourse, when I saw it the first time, I thought straight. But when I'm not thinking straight, I think I'm probably thinking properly. I mean, I feel now like there is no spell on me, no hypnotic garbage. But you know, hahahaa...that would leave the illuminati and everyone else on this planet, and Sophia even maybe, without a home. Hm. Funny. Everything can crumble so quick when everything seemed so stable and like it would last forever. But what is forever in a mud trap, in quicksand like this? If you want to help...go read Dion Fucking Fortune's book yourself. I'm finished here.

Good BYE

11:02PM 4/15/2015

     If we don't go to the root of the problem, we'll only blame this and that and get nowhere...and be impotent to do anything of real value. Only by going to the root can one pull out the disease. This place is the result of a rape. That's why everything is so fast fast hurry up no time to waste just do it, etc. and etc for other nasty things. Always remember, if you get confused remember, "As Above So Below." And if you can't measure your experiences on something, then what  you have is only chaos, a worthless jumble of nothingness. Or UNcreation. But things started somewhere. Something happened somewhere that created the PATTERN which we have been subconsciously and unconsciously dragged along by. And if we don't get to the root...all we'll get is self-destruction, because that's all there is to imperfect works, to ignoring i.e. ignorance. If we fall into the trap of ignoring it, like the perpetrator of this mess has done for sooo long, then it's only ourselves that will perish, as though what was, is no more, nor ever was before, nor ever will be again. Because that's where cheating get's thrown. Into the Lake of Fire, or Cimmeria, or whatever name you have for it. That burning lake of unhappy 'consciousness'. I don't think you can call it consciousness anymore. It's more like the idea you have of a black hole. What can come out of that? If anything does, what kind of existence does it come out of and into? There's still that problem it left behind. That unworked problem. There is nothing that escapes perfection. There are those who think imperfection is a natural state of being. It is not. There are those who think you can make mistakes, like mistakes are a natural way of life. But the situation really is that you have the opportunity to work out your mistakes, and if that opportunity is not taken, and the mistakes are not worked out, they just get larger and larger until they self-destruct, because no, it's not that nature abhors a vacuum, it's that nature abhors imperfection, because there is no imperfection in Love, and if love is not recognized, then nothing gets solved because of the sleep, nothing gets recognized, because of the sleep, there is no life no activity, and therefore death is the solution to it, which comes about as inertia. Perfection stands, everything else falls. So who raped who? And when? The unknown story. The unfathomed story. One which I've been working on to comprehend but am finding it difficult. There was a time when there were only two beings in existence. I don't know who popped out first or how long it was they seemed to be at one and at peace with each other. But one day out of the blue, this thing called masculine jumped at the feminine, surprising her for the nastiness of the action, the rudeness, crudeness. But out of it, instantly came many other creations which are called children, and when she saw they depended on her, instead of giving any more thought to that ugly action which she had just experienced, she instead began tending to them. And tended to them through the principles of wisdom, alchemizing their shit, the nastiness, that blackness that came off them. They didn't know they even had nastiness coming off them. Could that be the result of the rape? The ignoring of the male's side of what happened, to create children who were unaware? right from the start? There was only her, them, and him. What was she going to do? Life is life. You take care of it. Whether he helped or not, and he didn't. It seemed like all he waited for was the time when they were ripe enough so he could take them away to do whatever his wild mind or thoughts were deciding. But what is this story? Is it an alien implantation in my mind? And if so...I must be terribly powerful, and they've picked the right mind to manipulate existence with because everything in entirety is out of whack! Straight from the fall of Sophia to the alien wars and then earth's unruly, violently oriented society. So is it a false implantation? I can't say it is. And we need to deal with that, looking around seeing the evidence. There is a root where evil came to exist. It did start somewhere. And if we stay ignorant to that somewhere, someone, something, then we are impotent to correct it, and it will destroy us all in a zap, just as though the big-bang turned inside out!

[ To get an idea of how harmful the rape of innocence (the soul) is, how loveless behavior is a devastating thing, you can read this story, and think of all the people in existence who went through something similar, whether mind or emotional rape, or physical rape. And understand better.
Janet's Story: I Want To Live. Creating Yourself A Life After Childhood Abuse. 

   This Janet, who was raped by her father at a very young age, caused her to become silent, to have problems to communicate, to not be able to talk. (You know? Like some people stutter? Well, she couldn't talk). Here's an excerpt of some of the types of nightmares and dreams she had every night of her life all the way into her adult years. Page 51:

     "I am in a kind of discussion group. I am sad, but I don't say anything. A woman talks about her boundaries, that she has boundaries. A girl with Down Syndrome who has never talked before, now suddenly starts talking, a lot of words. She tells that it helps her so much to hear about boundaries, that this enables her to talk now. She says that she has boundaries herself, too, that she realizes this now. And she talks and talks. I do not understand everything she says but I am glad that she can talk now and I find her sweet and beautiful. Although she has Down Syndrome, she can talk now, she can say all this, and she is telling a lot! Maybe she is different from other people, she can't do all the things other people can do, but she can talk, a lot, and she has boundaries too, she understands that, she knows. She is nice and good, too, and she has the right to exist, too, although she can do less than the other people. I feel relieved by her words.

When I wake up I write in my diary. I cry and cry and cry. I write: "Is that me, the last-born who always could do less and knew less than the others? Who never could meet her father's requirements? Who felt that something was wrong with her, having "Down Syndrome"? But who did have boundaries — only never was allowed to stand up for them, never was allowed to say 'Stop!'. But I did have boundaries and I needed them to be respected." ]

3:07AM 4/16/2015

From Aeclectic Tarot:

"This is what the card is all about. Seated between two pillars as between two choices, the High Priestess is not about making a decision so much as holding decision-making at bay while you take time to listen to your inner voice. She wants you to gain knowledge before you act: instinctual knowledge, supernatural knowledge, secret knowledge, self-knowledge."

This is a good representation. It explains a lot. If you think you're going to get something without knowing what you are doing, it's rather a matter of not knowing yourself. (and that's the direction you took, hence why we're here).  And not knowing yourself means you don't have a center on which to go on. You've forsaken it and that has caused your downward spiral.

'Another one bites the dust, and another one gone and another one gone...'

And so, as you have performed without a center, you are, in your actions, taking down with you, a lot of others, but their burden is only seeing you down, and out of the picture, because they have a center; that's what keeps them whole through the entire unfit for existence ordeal. They'll come back up. You, the one without a center, like a vampire, will expire and stay down and out of the picture. As though Persephone went to hell, but she came back, you stayed. That's what happens to a being without a center, without "Heart" as don Juan from Carlos Castaneda put it. Heart after all is the foundation of everything, and it works with the crown, ultra-violet.

Perse-phone. If there is no communication....what is there?

( I just want some summertime, nothing else!)   Nothing...

                                                                                                    I don't have to tell you anything!

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