Overwhelmed?

Have you ever been overwhelmed?

Like I am right now. A little bit fucking overwhelmed. Oh my goodness, I can't describe how it is! But I will try to put it into words.

For example...I have my two sister's things, who just passed away. Rosy (Rosemary Pavic), September 18, 2012, and then Molly (Amalia Stephania Pavic), March 16, 2013...only 6 months apart. (Both were buried on an Equinox, Autumn and Spring)

So I'm going through all these boxes, and not only them do I have to deal with, but Rosy had kept all of Dad's (Peter Pavic) things, after he passed away January 8, 2004. But also, John (John Peter Pavic), who got shot dead by the Edmonton cops back on May 16, 2001. Oh and of course Mom, (Yaga Pavic) who passed away back on July 27, 1992 (the three females in the family all passed of breast cancer) ...all that stuff is at my place, and I have to organize it. I have to think about what to throw away, what to keep, and how to organize and store everything else. And I tell you, this organizing thing is a lot more difficult than I imagined it would be. There are large ziploc bags filled with papers indexed with black marker on whose stuff it belonged to. And even after I have gone through things twice, I still cannot seem to know where certain things are out of all the piles and piles of plastic bags with stuff organized in them. My brother Waun (second oldest), his wife, and my neice, have to have some things...and oh my gosh, there are a lot of clothes too. And Matt (youngest) might want some things, as well as my two nephews, Molly's boys, and then her best friend Leigh-Anne and family. (And only then can I give away to my friends and to resale shops what's left)

And on top of all that, I have been reading the PDF book, "Who, In Fact, You Really Are" by Cosmic Awareness, and that is one HEAVY read. Really, really heavy. Sometimes I start crying not because of the loss of family members, but because of what that book says. That is one heavy book. And there is the Ramtha books, all of them, which I purchased a couple months ago, because I want to know how to ascend, and he did it...Ramtha, that is. So who else are you going to go looking for information from, except that one who did what you are intending to do as well. And seeing how much knowledge and information there is (A LOT), and then reading from Cosmic Awareness's writings about how we have been hypnotized into aging, so that we slowly, or quickly, decompose and die, leaving the body behind....and that we don't have to die....that we can live a looong and healthy life....and that those who are interested in finding their full potential can and should be doing the meditations to reverse the aging hypnosis....

well...what the fuck. There are only so many hours in a day. And besides, I have these sewing projects I have to do for others, which I have here, (you know? money), and I have to also clean up all the boxes (make new shelves, wood-working) so I have enough room to DO some sewing...and then also, my artwork, and then my writing...how does anyone ever fit anything into their life? (When hell breaks loose)

And then I read...check this out...in Cosmic Awareness's book Who In Fact You Really Are....


"The sacrifice of giving up something for something more desirable
brings the greater fulfillment as give and take, gain and loss, pleasure and pain, life and
death, and a myriad of other ever-shifting polarities dance and vibrate to your eternal
and everlasting life."


Here's the entire paragraph:

"Even though the body dies, entities continue on as a flux of energies, a composite of
vibrations, in one form or another, in one realm or another, never escaping the reality
of their existence even through death’s door. Nor do they escape from their problems,
except by solving them, or emotionally letting go to let the Divine creator solve the problem.
When you have done all you can do to solve your problem, let go and let God take care
of it, being willing to do as the Divine Creator suggests. The Creator will never ask
that you harm another, or that you harm yourself, or that you suffer on Its behalf. This
Awareness will ask that you love yourself and others and that you give of yourself sufficiently
to create an empty space—a vacuum within—that will hold the blessings you
deserve and desire. The sacrifice of giving up something for something more desirable
brings the greater fulfillment as give and take, gain and loss, pleasure and pain, life and
death, and a myriad of other ever-shifting polarities dance and vibrate to your eternal
and everlasting life."


Enough to fucking overwhelm anyone. Wish me luck.

And on top of that, I have to make healthy food to eat, take care of myself, get exercise...
What to sacrifice? Hahahaa...what?

But, I know I'll get through this. I'll just have to keep a positive attitude and remember that I'm going to start studying my Quantum Touch books again, and my Silva Mind Control Method tapes, so that I could halt the aging process and have a LOT more time in which to do all these things I have to do!

And then one day, I could help you too.